So there were some albums and stuff that come out this year, and a whole bunch of them were good. Heaps more were shithouse. It’s finding the difference between the two that seems to prove the challenge for our dear society. For example, the only reason Miley Cyrus isn’t nominated for an OSCAR for Best Original Song is because the song she proffered wasn’t actually specifically for the movie. Man, criteria can be tough. Personally, I would’ve kept her off the list because her music sucks more dick than she does, but I’m not part of the Academy. Yet.
SO, here I offer my list of the best albums or EPs released in 2009. I also offer my list of most almost-unbelievable and stupid moments of the year.
Number 10 Best Release: A.C. Newman – Get Guilty.
Number 10 Worst Moment: At 12pm yesterday, a battallion of ‘disaffected’ youths lined up all the way down the street outside the Tivoli, for about 200 metres, for the Short Stack gig that night, 8 HOURS LATER.
Number 9 Best Release: …And You Will Know Us By The Trail of the Dead – The Century of Self. This album should count itself lucky for being included. Writing the artist and title just took seven minutes.
Number 9 Worst Moment: Enough people like Short Stack to fill a line that stretches for 200 metres. I just hope old guys don’t see that and take it as an indication of our generation. We’ll look like douchebags, given that in the 60s and 70s people would do that sort of thing for BOB DYLAN or THE STONES. Not three raven-haired ladyboys who actually use the fact that they’ve had over a million YouTube views as a selling point.
Number 8 Best Release: Mumford & Sons – Sigh No More. Maaaaaaaan I love a husky voice. And banjo. Throw the two of those into emotive rock n roll and I’m sold like a Thai teenage girl.
Number 8 Worst Moment: La Roux, in all of its mania and hype. That girl’s voice is like pouring mouthwash in my ears and then forgetting to spit and rinse after 30 seconds. DEAR EVERYBODY, PLEASE STOP MINING THE PERIOD BETWEEN 1980 AND 1989.
Number 7 Best Release: The Veils – Sun Gangs. Fuck you if you don’t know what I’m talking about.
Number 7 Worst Moment: My mum making If I Fell by The Beatles her ringtone. It’s not fair to make me hate a song of theirs because I hear the same 18 seconds of it every half an hour.
Number 6 Best Release: Volcano Choir – Unmap. Bon Iver gets all chunky with rhythm and the avant-garde. This album was somehow both scary and really sexy, kinda like Hermione Granger.
Number 6 Worst Moment: I work at the Tivoli, and when Opeth played some chick asked me if I loooooved them. I didn’t. She insisted they were the best band in the world (almost always a stupid claim). I soon found out how wrong she was and left early, soundtracked by an echoey swirl of ‘emotional’ metal. I think.
I’m gonna finish this off tomorrow. Mainly because you’re probably already bored and I really don’t wanna stretch the friendship. Stay tuned for more listy goodness. Fuck I love making lists.
